Say Never Page 32

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  Happy New Year! This is the Meg Monroe Morning Show, coming to you live from KTOC in the dingy little grey stucco building in Santa Monica that I’m hoping will get painted one of these days. I am your host, Meg Monroe, and I’ll be with you as you make your way to work, or your doctor’s appointment or to drop your children off at school or while you’re standing in the unemployment line. But whatever you’re doing, wherever you’re going, I’m glad to be with you.

  Up ahead on the show, we’ll be talking to Lindsay Lohan about her hundredth stint in rehab and why she thinks she’s finally ready to be successful again. And aren’t you all just on the edge of your seats for that one, huh? Well, take a pill, because she’s not here yet, and if she actually ever shows up, I might drop dead with shock. Oh, wait, my producers are assuring me that she’s coming. Right, boys. Like I said. I’ll believe it when I freaking see it.

  Anyway, I was at Target yesterday, and don’t even start with me about what I was doing in that godforsaken store, except I will say that it had nothing to do with the dollar section or the toy department or the kiddie clearance racks. But while I was there, I glimpsed the employees stowing away all of the holiday items. The decorations had been taken down by the time I walked into the store, but a huge pallet holding all of the Christmas crap was right outside the doors to the storage area, just lying there, forlorn and discarded. And do you know what I did when I saw all that stuff? I did a happy dance. And you know why? Because winter in Southern California is like a blizzard in the Bahamas. The two just don’t go together.

  That’s not to say that I didn’t enjoy my Christmas. I have regained a huge appreciation for family holiday dinners and exchanging gifts with my loved ones, particularly my new niece who was named for me and who is changing and growing before my very eyes. It’s not the holidays themselves I take issue with, but the Southwest region’s need to pretend they understand what a White Christmas really is.

  I think all Southern California holiday decorations should be relegated to things like Santa on a surfboard and reindeer sunning themselves by the pool and menorahs made of palm trees, even though I recently discovered that palm trees are not indigenous to Southern Cal. I was glad that Frosty got deflated and stuffed back into his box and all the big twinkling snowflakes got yanked from the ceiling. If I want snowflakes and snowmen and winter wonderlands, I’ll go where they actually exist in reality. I’ll fly back to my beloved New York or to Siberia or the Antarctic. Because, really, when we put up these preposterous winter decorations, we are being complete hypocrites. We live here because the weather is better than Heaven. We live here because we don’t want to shovel snow in December or put on four thousand layers of clothes or freeze our bazoombas off. Of course, we live here for other reasons too, like family and friends and jobs, but seriously, weather plays a huge role.

  But, anyway, back to Target. While I’m in the middle of my very Ellen DeGeneres celebratory dance, I spy two little kids, maybe four or five years old, standing by the pallet of Christmas decorations. One of them actually has tears in her eyes, and the other one was shaking his head sadly. “Santa’s going bye-bye,” the girl said. And the boy said wistfully, “So long, Santa! We’ll miss you.”

  And you know what I said to them? I said, “Get the hell over it! Santa isn’t even real, you chumps.” (Pause) I’m kidding! Do you think I would actually say that? Squash the dreams of a couple of half-pints right there in Target? Shame on you. I have learned some things about kids lately. What I did say was, “Don’t worry kids. Santa’s going on vay-cay, but Cupid’ll be here any minute.”

  And sure enough, at that exact moment, a Target employee pushes a huge cart out of the storage area loaded with pink and red and purple hearts and teddy bears with love signs pasted to their furry middles, and fat naked cherubs with bows and arrows in their chubby little fingers. Yes, that’s right, New Years has come and gone and Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. Better get your wallets out, people. Although, I admit, nowadays I resent Valentine’s Day a lot less than I did previously being that, this year, I actually have a Valentine.

  And speaking of which, my Valentine has recently asked me for my hand in marriage. Can you believe anyone would willingly enter into a lifelong relationship with me? And, no, he’s not completely off his rocker! Anyhow, you listeners and I have been together only a short time, but I feel like you probably know me pretty well by now, since I am not one to hold anything back. So the question I’m going to put out to you is this:

  What was my answer? Yes, I will? Or hell, no, I won’t.

  I have some tickets to Tim McGraw playing next week at the Staples Center, and the first person to guess correctly will win a pair for you and your Valentine.

  Okay, we have Jaimie on Line One. Hey, Jaimie. How are you doing this morning and what’s your guess? Will Meg Monroe be walking down the aisle any time soon?

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  ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

  My first two novels, Something New and Sweet Nothings were published by Penguin USA, and for that I am extremely grateful. My whole life I wanted to get published by one of the ‘Big 6.’ But, aside from a fabulous editor, I didn’t feel I got the support I needed or the push my books deserved. I’m not complaining. I am blessed to have had a publishing deal at all. I wouldn’t mind another one someday. I wouldn’t mind being the next Jennifer Weiner. (Actually, I wouldn’t mind being Jennifer Weiner’s next pet!)

  But in the meantime, I am trying my hand at becoming a ‘hybrid author,’ which means I’m putting Say Never out into the world without the Big Guys. And you know what? It feels darn good. Never in the history of the publishing industry have writers had so many opportunities to get their work in front of readers. If you plan to take matters out of the hands of the Big Guys and into your own, God bless, happy trails, mazel tov, etc. And also a couple of words of caution. Be patient. Rewrite. Rewrite again. Edit. Rewrite some more. Oh, yeah, and be patient.

  I have been writing a very long time, and I have reached a modicum of success largely because of the people who support me.

  My mom, Sharon, is no longer with us. I feel her loss intensely every single day, in all areas of my life. But I also feel her unwavering support. Her voice whispers in my ear in the dark of night—“Keep writing, my darling, keep writing.” She was—and still is—my greatest champion.

  My dad, Lenerd, has always been there for me too. As a writer, he understands the creative drive, and our tempestuous debates about character and plot inevitably end with laughter.

  Thanks to my brother Mark for reading, loving, and promoting my books, even though Sanford, Baldacci and Koontz are more your thing. Thanks to my niece Jacqueline and to Miriam Lazar for your input on designer labels and for not mocking me for my fashion deficiencies. Thanks to Lisa Tsuda for your eagle eye—you could make a serious living as an editor! Thanks to Linda Sanfilippo, for your fast turnaround and for taking such great care of my family, even when you’re off the clock.

  Thanks to my sis, Sharilyn, for everything. To Auntie Hilary and Auntie Linda. I treasure you both. To the rest of my family (too numerous to name): love you all.

  To my friend and nose, Linda Coler-Fields, what would I do without you? (And when can we return to Hong Kong?)

  To Penny Thiedemann, thank you for decades of love, support, and laughing until I pee.

  A big thank you to my online friends and fellow writers Julie Valerie, Samantha Stroh Bailey, Marlene Mengel, and Melissa Amster. Your encouragement and support of my writing is invaluable to me. Thanks to Suzanne Redfearn for your insightful notes and for the fantastic blurbs you gave me. Thanks to Lan Gao for your amazing cover design. You took my idea and made it a stunning reality.

  Thanks to Michael Steven Gregory and Wes Albers for welcoming me into the Southern California Writers Conference family. The community you’ve created inspires comradery, creativity and confidence, and it truly changed the course of my career. (Michael, I could talk on the
phone with you for hours, even when you sound like Robin Leach!)

  Finally, thanks to my husband Alex. Marriage is work, but every day, you remind me why I said ‘I do.’ I still do, honey.

  And to my kids, A.J. and Elle, you both are the lights of my life. Everything is for you, always.

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  READERS GUIDE

  Meg has a terrible relationship with her family—she moved to New York to escape from them. But when her brother asks for her help, she goes. What does this say about her character? How do you get along with your own family?

  In her job and in her life, Meg relies heavily on sarcasm. Do you believe she is really as cynical as she comes across, or does she use her harsh humor to keep people at a distance?

  “Domestic life was never in the cards for me,” Meg says. But we soon find out that she married—and divorced—in her early twenties. How do you think her life would have been different if her marriage had been a success?

  Do you think it was fair of Danny to leave Meg alone for McKenna’s playdate with five other children, even if an important work account was on the line? If you were in his shoes, would you have done the same?

  With no experience whatsoever, Meg is ill-equipped to care for Danny’s kids. Have you ever been thrown into a situation you were completely unprepared for? How did you feel? What was your experience?

  Meg claims to have everything she wants and professes her personal happiness to her brother. Is she truly happy? What constitutes happiness in your life and in the lives of those around you?

  Meg’s mother abandoned her family when Meg was a child, and Meg wonders what would have happened if Melanie had stayed. Considering Melanie’s character, do you think Meg, Danny and Buddy would have been better off if she hadn’t left?

  When Tebow disappears in Bloomingdale’s, Meg comes undone. Has anything like this ever happened to you? How did you deal with it? Did Meg’s reaction to losing Tebow seem genuine? What affect does it have on her caretaking skills?

  Matt Ryan is attracted to Meg beyond her good looks. What do you think he sees in her that she doesn’t see in herself? Why do you think she so stridently pushes him away the first time he kisses her?

  How does Meg’s relationship with Caroline change? After years of hostility, why do they form an alliance so quickly?

  Meg meets Danny’s step-daughter, Cera, for the first time on this trip to Southern California. How does Cera’s presence affect Meg’s journey?

  Caroline’s friend Patsy comes to the house one evening to ‘help’ Meg. The two women clearly resent each other. The reason for Meg’s resentment is obvious—Patsy thinks she knows everything there is about motherhood and tries to shame Meg. Why do you think Patsy resents Meg?

  Meg believes she would be a terrible mother, but at one point, she finds herself rocking Tebow to sleep and singing him a lullaby—because it feels right for her to do so. Do you think mothering is an innate skill all women possess?

  When Meg learns the truth about herself in relation to her mother, she begins to question her entire life. Has something occurred in your own life to make you question your beliefs and the choices you’ve made?

  Meg’s self-discovery brings about her ultimate transformation. Do you think Meg would have evolved if she had never left New York? Is it possible she would have been just as satisfied with her life if she hadn’t changed her perspective?

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  Table of Contents

  Praise for Say Never

  Say Never

  Prologue

  One

  Two

  Three

  Four

  Five

  Six

  Seven

  Eight

  Nine

  Ten

  Eleven

  Twelve

  Thirteen

  Fourteen

  Fifteen

  Sixteen

  Seventeen

  Eighteen

  Nineteen

  Twenty

  Twenty-one

  Twenty-two

  Twenty-three

  Twenty-four

  Twenty-five

  Epilogue

  Acknowledgements

  Readers Guide